Top 10 Tiger Jokes

One:
Apparently, the only person who can beat Tiger Woods with a golf club is his wife
Two:
What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards
Three:
Tiger Woods was injured in a car accident as he pulled out of his driveway early Friday morning.  It was Woods' shortest drive since an errant tee shot at the US Open.
Four:
What was Tiger Woods doing out at 2.30 in the morning? He'd gone clubbing
Five:
Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide between a wood and an iron
Six:
Perhaps Tiger should be using a driver?
Seven:
This is the first time Tiger's ever failed to drive 300 yards
Eight:
Apparently, Tiger admitted this crash was the closest shave he's ever had. So Gillette has dropped his contract.
Nine:
Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash. He's still below par though
Ten:
Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.

The magic of Kavieng

WONDERFUL Kavieng, New Ireland province, remains, arguably, the most-beautiful town in Papua New Guinea.

The feature of the place, and the entire New Ireland for that matter, are the scenic and unspoiled beaches.

Last Friday, we visited beautiful Nago Island, where an innovative and exciting development is taking.

The National Fisheries Authority is building a new research facility on Nago together with housing for its staff and researchers, as well as other associated facilities, at an estimated cost of K5-K6 million.

Nusa Island Retreat, with the green lights of the NFA, is building a tourism facility, given that Nago has some of the best surfing, fishing and unspoilt white, sandy beaches in Papua New Guinea.

Kavieng is situated at the northern tip of New Ireland.

It has often been described as the typical “Somerset Maugham South Sea island port”.

It has a large, beautiful harbour and is a popular destination for sports fishing enthusiasts and cruising yachts.

Along the edge of the harbour is Nusa Parade, a gently curving road, shaded by huge trees, which passes many points of historical interest, the main market, the port, fisheries and the hospital.

Nusa Island Retreat, only a short two-minute boat ride across the harbour, has an excellent bar and restaurant set right on the beach complete with sand floor and tables made from coconut trees.

More and more tourists are visiting this part of paradise and you can also find out why with a visit there.

I especially loved the scenic and unspoiled beachfront, market and the long and winding Boluminski Highway.

Kavieng market is one place where you can find the tastiest sea food and freshest vegetables.

It is situated on the foreshore and is a central hub of activity most days of the week, except Sundays.

There is a fantastic variety of locally grown fruits and vegetables, fresh and smoked fish, live mud crabs, baskets of sunga and kina shells, and of course plenty of buai.

Also found in large quantities are huge trays of tapioca slice made with coconut milk, sago slice, donuts, rice balls and other local delicacies.

Although generally a produce market, you will also find woven baskets, locally printed laplaps, and handmade bilums available for sale.

In addition to the market, there are a variety of kai bars in Kavieng where you can pick up a cheap local-style feed.

The highway is named after German administrator, Franz Boluminski, who landed at Kavieng on June 30, 1900, with his wife Frida.

He supervised the task of building a road, and in less than four years, 100km was built using karanas (dead coral) that is in plentiful supply.

Boluminiski gained widespread respect for establishing peace on New Ireland; however, it is for the highway that his name lives on.

His tough but fair dealings with natives and whites alike in New Ireland were frequently referred to by visiting Germans as “the South Sea Pearl of German colonial possessions”.

Boluminski had built a fine residence on a ridge with a grand staircase descending to the harbour with extensive gardens.

A post office was established in 1904 and overseas vessels were visiting Kavieng by 1912.

He died on April 28, 1913, and is buried at Bagail cemetery in Kavieng.

At the time of Boluminski’s death, a fine road capable of being used by the new motor vehicles just arriving stretched 165km from Kavieng carrying produce to port and facilitating the administration by strategically-located government rest houses.

It was the longest and best road in the Pacific until the 1950’s.

Of course, you can’t say anything about Kavieng and New Ireland province without mentioning the Chinese, who were brought to Kokopo and then Kavieng in the late 1800’s, inter-married with the local women, and their legacy lives on to this day.

Kavieng is a sleepy little town with a golf course, a range of restaurants, bars and facilities, including banks, supply stores, bakeries and supermarkets.

Places to stay include, hotel, guest house and resort style accommodation, while easy going traditional style bungalows are situated among the islands just offshore.

Visitors should not expect to come to Kavieng to experience an abundance of cafes or restaurants, shopping strips and nightclubs, as they will be very disappointed.

The Kavieng Hotel has a bar, complete with pool table and satellite TV, and a garden setting restaurant which is open every day of the week for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

The Kavieng Hotel, however, is famous for its Friday Night Seafood Buffet with what seems like an unlimited amount of mud crabs and crayfish, as well as plenty of fish and other seafood, salads and vegetable dishes.

The Kavieng Club has a large bar and a billiard room, and is a relaxing place for a drink after a game of golf on their nine-hole golf course or a quick snack for lunch or dinner.

The Malagan Beach Resort is perfectly situated on the beachfront, and its outside pool decking area is an excellent place to watch the sun set whilst enjoying a drink from their bar.

Its restaurant is open for breakfast, lunch and dinner and extends outside to a shaded patio area on the beach.

Sunday night is BBQ Night at the Malagan.

Nusa Island Retreat, only a short two-minute boat ride across the harbour, has an excellent bar and restaurant set right on the beach complete with sand floor and tables made from coconut trees.

The bar has a great selection of local and imported spirits, an excellent wine list, and an extensive cocktail list.

Nusa’s restaurant is open for breakfast and lunch with a good selection to choose from off their menu, with buffet dinners available every night of the week, specialising in the area’s fresh seafood and vegetables.

The strength of a woman

Caption: Marilyn Apa (third from left) with VIPS and graduating students  at National Fisheries College in Kavieng last Friday

 

By UNRE Public Relations

 ROBED professionally in her black academic gown the woman sat quietly watching as the students walked up to the podium one by one.

Tears filled her eyes and rolled slowly down her cheeks as each one was congratulated by University Chancellor Sir Rabbie Namaliu before he handed them their scrolls.

As they walked down the stairs with the scrolls firmly wrapped in their hands, the pride on each of their faces was evident.

They had done it!

Completed their course in flying colours!

The same pride that they felt shone in the woman's eyes.

It was her day as much as theirs.

This was the final chapter of a journey they had started together through uncharted waters – she and them.

 The scene before her evoked mixed emotions - intense maternal pride and a sense of sadness because she knew her protégés would now be leaving her.

After muolding and guiding the 16 diploma and five degree Fisheries and Marine Resources (FMR) graduates of the University of Natural Resource & Environment (UNRE) for several years, the graduation ceremony was a milestone achievement for Marilyn Apa.

Despite many challenges, she had worked tirelessly with a firm and committed determination to see them and the program succeed.

Ms Apa is the pioneer coordinator of the FMR program which was introduced in 2006.

 Its seven pioneer diplomats graduated last year and the graduation of the five pioneer degree students last Friday in Kavieng marked its first full cycle.

She loves the ocean and its abundant and diverse marine life, but this love is a passion she developed with the FMR programme.

Not surprising when you realise she comes from Western Highlands, a province situated several hundred kilometers away from the sea.  

An agriculturalist by profession, the challenge of switching to a new field let alone head a completely new programme for the University was daunting for Ms Apa.

She had to dig deep within herself to find the courage to move away from the familiar surroundings of UNRE's main campus in East New Britain to Kavieng in New Ireland, a town she had never even given much thought to before then.

While the challenges and difficulties faced with coordinating a new programme were many, her quiet determination and commitment has contributed to the success of the programme.

According to Ms Apa, the concept in natural resources is the same and can be applied in agriculture, fisheries or forestry.

She said in the FMR programme students learn everything about fisheries and marine resources from commercial fishing operations to post-harvest.

They also learn aquaculture, inland fishery management and research.

"They can fish, handle the fish, navigate boats and sustainably manage fisheries.

"They know the science of fisheries, statistics and monitoring, fisheries business and marketing as well as computing and how to write up project proposals," she continued.

"These students are the best prepared graduates professionally, because their current employers have expressed satisfaction with their job performances."

With the FMR programme completing its first full cycle, as much as she loves the sea, Ms Apa feels that it is now time she returns to the blue ranges of the Bainings.

She believes the two fisheries lecturers that were recruited to assist her, Aisi Anas and Rachel James, are capable of carrying on if she leaves.

Ms Apa is grateful, however, that she had the privilege of being part of the history of the FMR program but more importantly of having the chance to interact with the young minds that have enriched her life as much as she theirs.

When you thought I wasn't looking...

A message every adult should read because children are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.
When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always talk to, and I learned to trust in Him.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing, and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don't.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good, and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.
When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and wanted to say, 'Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.'

Unforgettable Kavieng, New Ireland province

Captions: 1: Visitors preparing to travel to Nago Island off Kavieng last Friday. 2: Children swimming in the sea in Kavieng, near the market, surrounded by a phalanx of dinghies

 

WONDERFUL Kavieng, New Ireland province, remains arguably the most-beautiful town in Papua New Guinea.

The feature of the place, and the enter New Ireland for that matter, are the scenic and unspoiled beaches.

Kavieng is situated at the northern tip of New Ireland.

It has often been described as the typical “Somerset Maugham South Sea island port”.

It has a large, beautiful harbour and is a popular destination for sports fishing enthusiasts and cruising yachts.

Along the edge of the harbour is Nusa Parade, a gently curving road, shaded by huge trees, which passes many points of historical interest, the main market, the port, fisheries and the hospital.

Nusa Island Retreat, only a short two-minute boat ride across the harbour, has an excellent bar and restaurant set right on the beach complete with sand floor and tables made from coconut trees.

More and more tourists are visiting this part of paradise and you can also find out why with a visit there.

Papua New Guinea a world leader in fisheries

Captions: 1: NFA Managing Director Mr Sylvester Pokajam. 2: ftv Leilani, a boat owned by the National Fisheries College in Kavieng, which takes students out to sea for training.

Papua New Guinea is the leading fisheries nation of the Pacific and a dominant force in regional tuna fisheries management and development, according to National Fisheries Authority managing director Sylvester Pokajam.

Mr Pokajam made this assertion in Kavieng last Friday during the graduation of the first-ever fisheries and marine resources degree students from the University of Natural Resources and Environment.

The graduation took place at the National Fisheries College in Kavieng.

“Although this has yet to be adequately measured, I am proud to advise you all that, in the opinion of many, Papua New Guinea is the leading fisheries nation of the Pacific and a dominant force in regional tuna fisheries management and development,” Mr Pokajam said,

“I believe our commitment to skill and capacity building though the effective operation of the National Fisheries College is a significant contributing factor in placing PNG in this leading position.

“As you all know, the National Fisheries Authority is a statutory authority charged with the challenging task of managing and developing the marine resource of PNG for the sustainable benefit of all.

“We are the only fisheries agency in the region that has a fisheries college as one of its operational divisions.

“This makes us unique in region but it also provides us with a significant challenge to gain a cost benefit from our investment in education and training.”

Mr Pokajam said for the past 10years, NFA had delivered 100% subsidised training to the fisheries sector of PNG in small fishing operations and commercial fisheries.

“Every year our budget had increased and this year for the first time, we introduced a 20% cost recovery component to all our courses,” he said.

“This is a good start but what we really need to see is real benefits coming from the training we deliver in terms of productivity and employment.”

Mr Pokajam commended members of the graduating fisheries observe class who have completed a course of study as Pacific Island regional fisheries observers.

“Through the commitment of our fisheries observer programme and the National Fisheries College, and the support of the Forum Fisheries Agency and the Secretariat for the Pacific Community, Papua New Guinea has led the region in fisheries observer training section within the College,” he said.

“We are now the only institution in the region to be endorsed to deliver the new regional standard fisheries observer qualification without teaching and technical inputs from SPC and FFA.

“Our fisheries observer tutors are now the first and currently the only certified regional observer trainers.

“This is an excellent achievement for all concerned and a further indication of our leading role in regional tuna fisheries management.

“This current observer course is the first ever in which we have hosted regional students and, in support of our Pacific neighbour, all four of our 2010 courses will have reservations for Pacific regional students.”

Mr Pokajam said the commercial fisheries and post-harvest program had underpinned the college since the inception of the AusAID -funded National Fisheries College Strengthening Project.

“Again, we are the only fisheries agency in the region that is able to offer this technical training to industry,” he said.

“We have watched with increasing confidence the growing confidence and capacity of the commercial fisheries and post-harvest staff teams in NFC and I believe our technical courses in these areas are efficiently delivered and highly relevant.

“My challenge to the graduates of these courses is to return to your respective work places and apply your new-found skills and knowledge to our collective challenge of growing PNG capacity in both fishing and processing, thereby adding to the value which PNG can obtain from our fisheries resources.”

Two more Kumuls head to the UK

Caption: British Deputy High Commissioner to PNG, Colin Glass, shows the visas which were issued to the PNG Kumuls Larsen Marabe and Jessie Joe Parker outside the British High Commission office in Port Moresby

 

The British High Commission has issued visas to two Papua New Guinean rugby league players to play in the United Kingdom.

Larsen Marabe and Jessie Joe Parker will play for the UK second division side Featherstone Rovers and depart Port Moresby this week.

“We are very happy to be given this opportunity to play in the United Kingdom and we will strive to do our best on the field as well as be ambassadors for our country,” they both said after receiving their visas from the British High Commission.

British High Commissioner to PNG, David Dunn, praised the duo for being able to secure contracts with Featherstone Rovers and alerted them to the 2009 success of colleague Kumuls Menzie Yere, Charlie Wabo, Nico Slain and Michael Mark.

“Menzie Yere, Charlie Wabo, Nico Slain and Michael Mark have been able to stamp their mark in the UK with Menzie and Michael winning awards from their respective clubs. Menzie in particular was shortlisted for the Co-operative Player of the Year award that shows the potential of PNG rugby league players when exposed at the international level. Their experience shows that there are no international barriers when it comes to playing rugby league and I wish them well,” said Mr Dunn.

UK-based PNG league veteran Stanley Gene, who was instrumental in marketing Marabe and Parker to the Featherstone Rovers, thanked the British High Commission for issuing visas to Marabe and Parker and said it was their chance to experience life as a footballer in the UK.

“It's an opportunity for these players to see the other side of the world, experience different cultures and make a living out of it. They will be coached and trained by the best people and play a high standard of football – which will only help the PNG Kumuls in the future. Lastly I would like to appeal to the boys to take this opportunity, enjoy their time in the UK and always remember that they are representing PNG both on and off the field,” he added.

The departure of Marabe and Parker now brings the number of PNG Kumul players in the UK to 10. The others include Gene, Makali Aizue (both with Halifax RLFC), John Wilshire (Salford Reds RLFC) and Jason Chan (Celtic Crusaders RLFC).