You know you're a Papua New Guinean when:

*You can have cordial for breakfast.

* You have buai for Lunch.

* You still live with your parents even though you're 30.

*You bring your boyfriend/girlfriend to the house and everyone's concluded that you are married!

* You wear board shorts to cruise in town even though you are not going for a swim (KBS 2 the max!).

* You share one cigarette with five other people.

* Your Mother gives your father Black eyes.

* You have about three families living in one house.

* Still keep drinking even though you can barely talk and walk.

* At any major function, instead of a plate, your food comes in a plastic container.

* You run into a mountain of slippers blocking the front door.

* Your staple diet is rice and tin fish or Ox & palm.

* You have a huge gap between your first two toes, (excessive thong wear...).

* Swimming pool is filled with people wearing t-shirts, (Females).

* You can sprint barefoot on sharp stones and rocks.

* You wake up and go straight to work or classes.

* At crossings, you are supposed to wait for the car to stop before crossing, not the other way around.

* Your first and last names are the same. (John John).

* You have a perpetually drunk Uncle who starts fights at every family gathering.

* You call a friend - (squad).

* Every time you greet someone he says "YOU"?

* You have sat in a four-seater car with up to eight other people.

* You can speak with your face - eg. Twitch like a rabbit to ask, Where you going?"

* Your Grandmother thinks Vicks Vapo-Rub is the miracle cure for everything> (including broken bones ....).

* You're getting a hiding and your parents yell at you as to "Why you are crying for?" ("you karai lo wanem ah ......").

* You've been shamed and belted up by your Mother in front of schoolmates at the Supermarket.

* You're a tycoon on your payday by shouting everyone and scab money off people till the next fortnight.

* You invite people over for dinner and your family all of a sudden says the grace.

* You've had an afro at some stage in your life (boys AND girls) and thought you looked cool.

* You're at your Aunties and see your six-year-old cousin doing household chores.

* Your Aunty visits and she's talking to you at the same time as looking in your pots for food...

* You go to your village rich and come back poor.

* You have laplaps for curtains in your house.